On Death And Dying

By Carol Roach

Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross passed away on August 24, 2004. Although she has written many books, I remember her mostly for her book, On Death & Dying, (Simon & Schuster/Touchstone), 1969. The book entailed groundbreaking research on the subject. She postulates a five stage theory about dying: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, and its impact upon the love ones left behind.

I do not have the space here to elaborate on the theory much as I would like to. You may ask then, why introduce this topic this week? My only answer and apology for my readers is that I feel compelled to review Kubler-Ross’s work as I go through my own grieving period. My youngest sister Joyce is dying in the hospital as I write.

For several years she has been suffering from bone cancer. A couple of times a year she has been rushed into the hospital on death’s doorstep, yet miraculously pulled through. About two years ago, my mother, middle sister, and I went for DNA testing to see if any one of us was a possible donor for a bone marrow transplant. Unfortunately neither of us made the match. Joyce was put on a waiting list and then taken off again. The doctor’s determined after suffering a stroke; she was too ill to undergo the procedure and too far advanced in her cancer for it to be of any benefit.

We watched and waited. While I was working, if I got a message to call home, the thought that it might be the dreaded call to inform me of her passing was always forefront in my mind. But Joyce survived it all. Her will to live was a testimony of courage and inspiration for all. If I was the one suffering from cancer, I doubt that I could ever match her bravery. She went through chemotherapy and endured her pain without a complaint.

This week she is back in the hospital. She is again at death’s doorstep. Not only does she have her bone cancer, but now she has throat cancer as well.

There is now a difference in her attitude. My sister says this is the end, she senses it. She is not afraid to die, and we as a family will be comforted when she is free of pain. My sister has suffered enough. She is looking forward to the eternal sleep. She is looking forward to being reunited with her deceased son and with her maker. No doubt we will continue to grieve, however, as a family we will be comforted when she is finally at rest.

Carol Roach, M.Ed, B.A psychology
winterose@videotron.ca
Author: Picking Up the Pieces: A Woman’s Journey, Angels Watching over Me
Newsletter Publisher: Storytime Tapestry: http://subs.zinester.com/98907